


Day #18 - Insomnia

by Accal1a



Series: October Nickels Insanity (2019) [18]
Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux, Sidewinder Series - Abigail Roux
Genre: Gen, Heavy Angst, Insomnia, Introspection, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2021-01-16 09:01:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21268469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Accal1a/pseuds/Accal1a
Summary: Nick reflects on his mission to kill Burns.





	Day #18 - Insomnia

**Author's Note:**

> I blame [astudyinfic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astudyinfic). Go read _her_ October insanity [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20849234/chapters/49560635).
> 
> [mindfluff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindfluff) decided to join in on the madness too. Their fics start [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20853593#work_endnotes).

Nick had flown in a jump seat before, of course he had, but it seemed utterly incomprehensible that he had been tasked to fly to Suitland and deliver a five word message to naval intelligence. Were there seriously no encrypted lines that could have delivered that message? Were there seriously no ways in which this message could have been delivered? In all honesty, were there no fucking privates who could have done this? What was the point of bumping him up to Master Sergeant and then tasking him for this? What was the point of sending him half way round the fucking world?

After the NIA tapped him, all of those questions came back to haunt him, because after the NIA had spoken to him he didn't know what he was supposed to be doing. He couldn't tell anyone. Who was he going to tell? He couldn't tell Ty, not with the scant pieces of evidence he had at his disposal. It was enough for him, but it wouldn't be enough for Ty, Burns was like a father to him, someone to whom he would bleed for, likely had on numerous occasions. He wouldn't just believe anything, and what the NIA had given Nick, in a dossier too small, was enough evidence and a gut feeling, something he had cultivated over many years. It was said that children of abuse were finely tuned to people's motivations, and he often wondered whether that was why Burns had pinged wrong for him before. He wondered whether he should have tried harder to get Ty and Eli away from him. Maybe if he had, Eli would still be alive And honestly? Part of him wanted Burns to bleed for what he had done to Eli, how could he not?

And Kelly. He had no idea what he was going to say to Kelly, no idea whether he even should say something to him. He knew that he would help him if he knew, and he couldn't bring him down that dark path with him. If Ty hated him for this, then he would bear that burden, but he couldn't ask Kelly to do so too, couldn't ask Kelly to lose another bit of his family because of his mistakes. That would be unthinkable.

So, he lay awake and stared at the ceiling, a beautiful sleeping man next to him, and wondered whether this would mean he would lose him too.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and visit the [Cut & Run Discord Server](https://discord.gg/vvy6c76) and join us as we discuss/scream about this awesome series.
> 
> ~~~
> 
> Fancy joining a multi-fandom Discord server where you can <s>squee with</s> chat with like minded people? Have I got the place for you!
> 
> Come and join **The Fandom Playhouse**. You don't have to be mad to [join](https://discord.gg/82pvdE39fD), but it does help...


End file.
